The Life Hid

The life you've always lived is not the life you will live always.
There is more. There is beyond. There is upward. There is true love, true hope, true purpose, true joy, true peace, life in the full.
Will you fight for it? Even if you have to fight yourself and your own foolish will?
True love never ends. There's only one source of love unconditional in all the universe.
Find it. Find Him and you will fully live.

Rock On With Your Fashionable Frown

Flashback to thursday Oct 23rd...

Ronnie, Mere, and I went to see Ben Folds tonight at the Palladium Ballroom in Dallas. It my was my first Ben Folds experience. I believe it was Ronnie's 6th and Meredith's 3rd.

On the ride up, we jammed to the entire "Way to Normal" album including many of the leaked "fake" songs. The songs aren't that fake though; turns out he actually plays most of them live. Anyway, the show was great. It was so much fun. During one song (Fashionable Frown) I literally cracked up! The picture explains it. It was hilarious and very unexpected. 

He played about a 2hr set. I wish I could recall all the songs here, but I know he played all of "Way To Normal" except "Errant Dog." 

Flash to the now:

- drinking a homemade caramel mocha

- hoping for adventure

- wanting the cold to advance further

? More Questions Than Answers ?

Many things on the horizon in my life seem uncertain right now. And it's not a good or bad thing. It's actually more exciting than anything. Especially since we have been "off" for so long from touring. 

About 2 months ago during "there came a tour" I just had this feeling one day. The feeling was that Jimmy and Chad might leave T&N.  I just got that sense that they were both getting tired of the business side of the label, specifically with being unable to help their bands in the way they truly desired. Whatever rationale I fastened to it is definitely not the point though. The point is now, two months down the road Jimmy is gone, and Chad has announced that he will be leaving T&N in the new year.  Both the dudes that attracted us to being a part of the family are gone...

Strangely enough, I'm not worried. I know the Lord is going to have his way with our band. He led us to T&N, and if wants to lead us somewhere new, He will. Maybe the new a&rs at the label will be just the spark of freshness and enthusiasm the label needs to become something greater than it ever has. A label that truly cares first for their bands and second about profit, that seeks the kingdom first, that sows more than it reaps, that revolutionizes people's lives. 

Anyway, I'm happy for both of them. Jimmy is now working with his church and quite happy from what I've been able to gather. And Chad, is stepping out. He's responding to God's call. That call just happens to be a new direction for his entire life! One that is focused on spreading the gospel, and not watered down religious gospel either, but THE GOOD NEWS that brings life in the fullest. I admire him so much as a man and I know he will be successful because God is leading him. I hope he is able to be a "pastor to bands." He's already been that for us in the past, and has brought healing and hope through prophecy and prayer. Thanks God for letting him be such an inspirational part of our lives and career.

I feel God is getting me (and the band) ready for something big. What it is...I have no idea. 

Thoughts captured

- we are playing with as cities burn again soon

- I miss my woman

- it's getting colder

- music through headphones is always better

- Ronnie, start your blog!

A New Beginning

Writing can be a release, a safe-haven, a joy, and a trap all at once. On any given day there are enough precious moments to fill it, but many are missed and forgotten. "Such subtlety so easily missed..." That's why I've decided to start blogging again. 

Thanks Ronnie for the inspiration. And thanks for your companionship. Good luck with your new blog venture as well. 

Just re-reading over my old blogs last night was enough to make me burst out laughing. The phrase that did it was "Gnomes and trolls are the same. The fact of whether or not they're on a lawn is irrelevant." I hadn't thought of that in years, but upon reading it even I remembered when I said it and where. I was at my friend Patrick's house, most likely playing Madden 03(just a guess at the year) and we were cracking each other up with our antics, and somehow that was the phrase that stuck out. Those truly do feel like "the good ole days."

Today, a guy is trying out for our band, more or less just going to jam with us. I'm nervous about for several reasons. First, just because it's been so long since we had tried out or considered anybody new to play with us (more like enter into our family). And secondly, because I'm not sure what the right thing is for us. Most of me feels like we should remain a four-piece. We have grown so close over the 3 years we have been together, and being stripped down to just the four of us has brought us even closer. We have been able to break through relational walls with each other, and really see each others hearts. We have confessed to each other our deepest pains, desires, sins, strengths, hopes, and loves. 

I really think we have even more to discover with each other: personally, spiritually, and musically. I'll take comfort in the fact that God is in control and has always kept us. 

Right now:

It's raining outside and it's lovely. I didn't expect it. The weather has been rather timid lately, wavering between the final threads of summer heat and the changing leaves of autumn. I'm ready for the cold. Life seems sharper in the cold. Coffee tastes better. Fellowship with friends enjoy more joyful. 

I've been listening to the new Copeland today. So far, I don't like it as much as some of their earlier work. Also, downloading Cursive "The Ugly Organ." It's been too long since I've listened to that album.